While flicking through the current issue of The List magazine, it came as something of a shock to the system to stumble across a picture of Isobel Campbell, the former wouldn't-say-boo cellist of Belle & Sebastian, with her bongos out in glorious glossy print. OK, she didn't quite have them 'out', but the generous amount of cleavage on show certainly got us thinking... why has nobody ever put together a feature on the best indie boobs?
The surprising answer is that there is precious little to choose from. Here's why:
1. There are very few women in the alternative music scene.
2. Of those women who are in the alternative music scene, the majority are curiously flat-chested (perhaps this is because large bosoms could affect the line of vision to the instrument being played).
3. Of those women who are in the alternative music scene and who do come into the top-heavy category, all almost all of them steadfastly choose to keep their goods covered up, both on and off-stage.
Clearly point 3 highlights a fundamental difference in the attitude of indie ladies compared to their come-hither counterparts in pop, R'n'B and even classical music (step forward Katherine Jenkins, Charlotte Church), not to mention actresses, TV presenters or Glasgow clubbers.
Are they reluctant to adopt the "if you've got it, flaunt it" approach because they fear their credibility as a serious artist will be compromised if they happen to have a peachy pair of melons on display? If so, we disagree. Our six senoritas pictured above who have dared to flash the flesh are all wonderfully talented songstresses whose tits have never overshadowed their hits.
Since quitting Belle & Sebastian,
Isobel Campbell, 32, has undergone the most dramatic of image transformations - from twee kitten to Mercury Award nominated chanteuse with rock bad-boy Mark Lanegan at her beck and call. Better still, the Glaswegian is currently dating a brickie!
If
Meg White was a character in a book you would expect the author to use words such as "pendulous" and "heaving" to describe the 33-year-old's twin peaks. Yet such is the strength of
The White Stripes, her drumming-induced jiggling doesn't even manage to steal the attention from the crazy shit Jack White does with a guitar.
Regina Spektor oozes talent. So much so that you might not even have realised the pocket dynamo has rather splendid mighty whites. People talk about her classical piano playing, her Russian heritage, the wonderful narrative of her lyrics, her quirky vocal delivery, even her
rumoured fling with Julian Casablancas. Yet the dearth of discussion on the wonder that is Regina's rack suggests this topic is out of bounds... yet it wouldn't be out of bounds to compliment the 28-year-old on, say, her warm smile. Which is lovely, by the way.
Quite why the jugs of
Jenny Lewis have never been held up by the Christian movement as proof of the existence of God remains a mystery to us - let's face it, all their other so-called evidence and arguments aren't half as convincing. The
Rilo Kiley frontwoman, 32, is blessed in many ways so let's not be shy about it. She did write a song called Big Guns, you know.
As we
mentioned last month,
Martha Wainwright is utterly comfortable in her sexuality and should be held up as a role model for all women, not just those who want to be sassy guitar heroes. For her live shows the golden-haired 32-year-old dresses the part and struts her stuff in killer heels. The fact that she brings her husband on tour as one of her backing musicians reinforces the point that showing off your curves and legs makes you feminine, not a floozy.
The final funbags up for inspection belong to
Sharin Foo, the Danish darling of
The Raveonettes. Her band kicks ass and she's every inch the rock star she looks, but the 28-year-old's asset management brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'puppy love'.
Ladies of indie music, we appeal to you to cast aside your inhibitions and unleash the beasts just like Isobel, Meg, Regina, Jenny, Martha and Sharin. Nobody will think any less of you if there's more of you on display.
We tend not to delve too deeply into Scotland's musical heritage. Listen to anything made before the 1990s and there's every risk you'll stray into increasingly dated, synth-fuelled territory.
Attic Lights, on the other hand, are so infatuated with the well-trodden path of sickly sweet jangly guitar pop they roped in sometime Teenage Fanclub drummer Francis MacDonald to be their manager and singer Kevin Sherry recently revealed in the band's blog that they spend their rehearsal time playing Big Star songs to "try to work out the genius behind them and write songs as good as that".
A couple of months ago, you may remember we 
